A time to mourn

A couple of weeks ago, I learned, through Facebook, that my college voice teacher, mentor, and friend, has cancer. Then yesterday, I found out that she has passed away. Needless to say, our short time spent together, has been on my mind recently.


Dr. M. and I would never have worked together if life had gone according to my plan, as I started college as a music major with my violin in hand. It didn't take me too many hours of practice to realize that my carpal tunnel syndrome problems wouldn't let me continue on this path, and I needed to find a different instrument or change majors--all during the first week of classes...seven hours from home. My advisor recommended I take Class Voice for that semester, and either continue private voice lessons after that or hope my wrists improved enough so that I could go back to my violin. Then she took me down that hall to meet Dr. M--who I was also taking music history from, but hadn't really gotten to know yet.


That semester was tough, as I tried to let go of being "Trudi the Fiddler" and become "Trudi the Singer." I'd always left the singing to my more talented siblings, so my singing confidence was really low. I don't know how I ever got up in front of a bunch of vocal performance majors for that first recital. I just know I wouldn't have if not for the encouragement of my teacher. 


The following semester, I took private voice lessons, and that weekly half hour become the highlight of me week. Yes, we studied voice, but Dr. M. also took the time to check up on how I was doing, and counseled me on living a balanced, healthy life: nutrition, relaxation time, enjoying music, learning, exercising--in fact, she was the first person to tell me I should become a runner--and just all around wholeness. When I showed up at my voice lesson with whiplash after a car accident, she not only cancelled my lesson, she called and got me a chiropractor appointment, contacted my choir teacher about missing choir, and drove me there. 


At the end of that semester, when I decided to switch majors to business, she sat me down and made sure I had thought through how different the worlds of music and business are and if I was sure I'd be happy there. The following year I saw her much more infrequently, but when we'd meet in the halls, it was always good to check in and tell her how I was doing.


It turns out I did do well in business classes, and today as I work in numbers every day, and my life drifts further from music, I remember Dr. M. asking me if that would make me happy. I didn't know at that time, but it had been important to have a teacher stop me and ask--making me think about it. To know that I had someone in my corner that would have helped me through four years of music classes and lessons, even if I wasn't the greatest talent, had I chosen that route in my life.


I left school as quietly and as suddenly as I'd arrived that following summer, and in the four years since, my only regret was not saying good-bye to the teachers that changed me for the better, and Dr. M. would have been at the top of that list. I don't know what I'd have said, but I hope that would have been along these lines: Thank you Dr. M., for everything that you taught me. I'll always remember it, and Friday night's three mile run...that was done for you.


Please keep her, her family, and her many students in your prayers as we all step back and take time to grieve. Thanks.

Congratulations Graduate!

Today is my baby sister's official high school graduation day--and I'm doing my best to make a big deal out of it. :) Not easy to do today, since, a) the party is next weekend, b) Grace played piano for a wedding this afternoon, and therefore, was freaking out all day, and c) everyone else acts like it's just a normal Friday...

But in my eyes, this is a very big deal. My baby sister is no longer in high school, and college is just around her corner. Also, after almost 30 years of homeschooling, my mom is being forced into retirement.

What about this day is ordinary?

Congratulations Grace! The next couple of weeks are going to be crazy busy, but let's just take this evening to celebrate your accomplishment--you deserve it!

Completing my collection

I don't remember exactly how old I was, but early on in my teenage years, on one of our biweekly library trips, Mom pulled a book off the shelf and put it on my tall stack of novels (since I went through so many books, I often needed help to find enough to take home with me). This book was titled Meet the Malones and was about a normal American family during World War II. Two weeks later, I eagerly picked up Beany Malone--the second book in the series. This second book brought into focus the youngest daughter in this family, and in her character I continuously recognized myself. From the love of cooking, the importance of keeping my finger on the family pulse, the burden of being the one in the family who received too much common sense, and tons of insecurities teenage me dealt with--I had Beany to help me through. 

It wasn't long before I got my book-selling older brother to find me the entire Beany Malone series--reprinted in paperback for a new generation. I've always been extremely proud of those 14 books on my shelf, and have reread them all countless times.

When I started working at the library and started discovering the joys of interlibrary loans, I did a statewide search for books by Lenora Mattingly Weber, and I soon discovered the Katie Rose and Stacy Belford series, along with a stand-alone novel My True Love Waits.

I think what touched me the most in these books about teenage girls just going through normal day-to-day drama, was the words of wisdom that Ms. Weber snuck into characters' conversations--words of advice that came as a loving grandmother passing on knowledge to her young granddaughters.

It has been with sadness in the past few years that I've done an occasional library search for these books and slowly watched them disappear from the system... I thought of the girls who would never read these beautiful books, and then I thought in panic of how I might never get to read the rest of these books again. I treasured my complete Beany Malone set all the more, but I mourned for the others.

So, this spring I took the plunge and hunted down the remaining books and bought them for myself to have forever. I managed to find all but one available in the reprinted paperback form, without spending an arm and a leg on the rare books (hey, the one I got in hardcover was only available in paperback for $699.99). I couldn't contain my joy when the last of my collection arrived in the mail last week:

My Lenora Mattingly Weber collection

Isn't it pretty? Now I just have to find a spot on my shelves to put them all. :)

Occasionally books do interfere with my life

I have always taken great offense whenever people tell me they don't have time to read--that they wish they had time to read. It always comes across as really saying, "I would read too if my life was as boring as yours." It's the truth. That is what I hear.


The thing is, we all make the time for what is important to us. Some people manage to find time for a weekly nap, exercising, watching movies, baking, long phone conversations, making lists of all the things they'd do if they had more time.... I, personally, would give it all up for reading. I do read fast, which helps, but I never waste a second. Stirring pasta? I'm reading. Eating breakfast? I'm reading. Watching TV? I'm reading during commercial breaks. Reading like I do, doesn't happen because I don't have other things to do, it happens because I choose to read first, do other things later. I frequently give up sleep to read. I haven't had a nap in so long, I would have to be super sick to take one now. I almost always read in bed until after midnight, and it's the first thing I do when I roll out of bed early in the morning (yep, I can no longer sleep in).


Usually I can snap in and out of reading very quickly, so that I can immediately answer people, run to help someone, or just pretend I was truly waiting for them and not in some far off land slaying dragons (well, if I read fantasy...which I don't...)


Last week I started reading Anna Karenina in an attempt to push myself to continue  my lifelong literature study. I haven't read a lot of Russian Lit, but what I have, I usually find difficult, so I did not expect Anna Karenina to be so accessible and interesting! I was immediately sucked in and finishing the story has become my top priority. This past week I've read even more than normal, reading whenever it was at all possible, staying up later, getting up early, and I can definitely feel the side effects of that on this Monday. However, I only have about 200 pages left and may finish tonight...if sleep doesn't come and take over.


So, while I've had a few interesting blog post ideas this past week, I have chosen to ignore them in the pursuit of reading. And to think I was just hoping I'd finish Anna Karenina "sometime this year" when I started it.


I do apologize to my ignored family... I promise to not read any more long scandalous novels until after the big graduation party!

My time is now

There is a reason everyone jokes about me being cold-blooded. During the cool months, no matter what I try, I'm always cold. I get used to having icy hands and the constant tension that comes from being cold.


I love it when warm days finally come, because I can actually thaw out. :) Unfortunately, when it gets warm for more than just a couple of days, everyone cranks the a/c on and I'm back to shivering (not that I don't appreciate a/c, I just don't think we need to have it so cold inside that my glasses fog up when I go outside...).


So for these first gorgeously warm days, I soak up the warmth. I let my body completely thaw, and it's amazing how relaxed that makes me feel. Already people are complaining about the heat, but I just smile.


This is my time. :)

Looking back

It was the day my life changed--forever dividing my life into a clear "before" and "after." 


It was a day filled with so many firsts: first trip anywhere, first time apart from my family, first plane ride, first train ride, first feeling of independence and responsibility, first time out of the country, first...(I could go on forever). It's really no wonder I changed so much in the following six weeks that I spent months afterwords looking in the mirror trying to recognize the girl staring back.


In the eight years since that backpacking trip, I've slowly become the person I finally realized I was on that sunny May day in Paris. 


Whenever I forget what those first hours in Europe felt like, I read this quote from Jane Eyre:


"It is a very strange sensation of inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world, cut adrift from every connection, uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then the throb of fear disturbs it."


That about sums up what I was feeling that entire trip. :)




Here are a few other quotes that have inspired my travels: 


I met a lot of people in Europe.  I even encountered myself.  ~James Baldwin


The traveler sees what he sees.  The tourist sees what he has come to see.  ~G.K. Chesterton


The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page.  ~St. Augustine


I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.  ~Mark Twain


;-)

Running Update

This is my 6th week of running, so I thought I'd give you a little update. :)


For the most part it's been going really well, and I am now up to running two miles--though I've only done it once without any walking. I had a lot of momentum going into week six and really could taste the running of three miles. 


Then I hit a wall.


I just don't have as much energy, which I think comes from a) eating too much sugar (curse you rhubarb season!) and b) I haven't been kickboxing as much on my non-running days, so I'm not building up as much strength. Also, the 2nd half of last week it wouldn't stop raining, so I took a few days off... then it just sounded scary to get out and run...


I'm trying to get over this hurdle and run anyway, but I am rerunning the week 6 schedule, because I didn't complete it last week.


Hopefully by next week I'll feel like I'm back on track.